April...another month just passed by and I am sure she is going to be here any minute now. Although I know this is not true, I have spent a lot of time this month wondering where she must be... If what they say is true and she has moved on as a spirit then surely she cannot be with me anymore. It's a difficult thought to imagine as we always want to believe we are holding our lost ones with us in our hearts, however, the truth is they have moved onto another body somewhere. So the question is, where does that leave us poor people left behind? How do we ever really know where or how the lost person is? The truth is we don't. And this month has been a lot about that acceptance for me. Whilst I will always hold my mum close to my heart, the truth is that she has moved on. All I can hope for is that she has moved onto something better and wherever she is, she is not suffering anymore. Maybe this is all part of the process and maybe people will tell me I am over analysing the situation, but the problem is you always want to analyse because death is something we will never understand. We can only begin to guess and hypothesis.An interesting month then. l want to end by telling my mum that I miss her so much but I know she will not hear me. Just going to say that I have always got her memories in my heart and the person she was to me will always remain with me, and me only.